I have experience with arguements(what can I say, they don't make me angry at all, they give me a rush). A mixture of experience and education has helped me become a successful arguer. There are a few techniques I use that usually help me, and even if I know i'm wrong or i've lost, we both go away happy.
Don't lose your cool: Never start yelling, swear, mock, use sarcasm, or use aggressive body language, even if they do.
Why it's bad: If you're yelling and flailing your arms around then they'll know you're emotional and that you aren't thinking clearly. It'll become obvious that you've become defensive and no longer have stability over what's being said. You're only fighting them with intimidation at this point and not a sound arguement.
Why this is good for you: If you don't do these things, then you can actually have a decent and intellectual arguement based on what you have to say and not who intimidates who the most. You'll have your dignity even if they did not and will come off as stronger from the get-go. It might make them more angry, which may be what you want(because as stated, anger shows that you've won), or they will appreciate it and reciprocate.
Understand and Acknowledge: Of course they will have an opposing opinion to yours but ensure that you acknowledge what they have to say and understand it before you continue, or even expand on it.
Why it's bad not to: It would be detrimental if you were to repeat what's already been discussed, and by not paying attention it only shows ignorance and disrespect. They'll know there's no point in argueing if the other person is too closed minded to listen to what they have to say.
Why it's good for you: It's proven that an effective argument is one that can present both sides while demonstrating how it is the better. On top of that, both sides will know it was fair and might even learn something that will expand on what they already know. Therefore you'll get more out of the arguement than just proving your side and with your head held high.
Think before you speak: Make sure it's relevant, make sure it is justified, ensure that you make sense
Why it's bad not to: Some people won't catch if something is irrelevant, but most will and will call you out on it. That would show you're lack of a legitamite arguement. Make sure it's justified and strong; don't talk just to hear yourself talk. Ensure that what you say is understandable because one of the worst things to happen in a consistant arguement is a "Huh? I don't get it."
Why it's good for you: It'll be harder for them to think of something as good, or better, than what you had said. It'll keep everything flowing while making you look good and confident.
Positive Speech and Body Language: Keep your facial features calm or friendly, never tense or haughty. Ensure that your body is also calm but still exudes confidence. Keep your tone of voice controlled and at a good pitch(not too high and not too low).
Why it's bad not to: Tense facial features can show agression while haughty ones can easily offend them into thinking you don't take them seriously and think of them as inferior. Raising your voice will drown them out, and again, show aggression. A pitch too high will give the impression that you're immature and unintelligent; a pitch too low can make you seem uninterested or boring. Try to find the middle pitch for yourself.(Say mm hmm as you would spontaneously, then do it holding the hm, then transition from the hm to a sentence: mm hmmm how are you?)
Why it's good for you: This will keep both parties calm and show that you are ready to go into the conversation. They won't feel attacked and you won't seem as if your overreacting. You will sound intelligent and logical.
Finally(and most importantly), be sure of yourself and be prepared: I always try to go into an arguement already knowing where I stand and that I have sufficiant proof to back myself up(if something interests you, do some research). Also, think ahead to what the other person might say.
Why it's bad not to: You won't seem confident and will run out of things to say quickly. You will give the other person many opportunities to overthrow you. Plus, you'll feel a little embarrassed not knowing anything about what you're standing for.
Why it's good for you: You will be able to provide many reasons that will be hard to counter. It helps if you're passionate about what you're speaking of and have thought about it before. If you already know what they will argue, you can respond quickly and effectively, or even better, you can beat them too it. For example "Now I know you think it's good because ____, but on the other hand..."
In the end: If you know that they have you, then it's best just to admit it. Or if they haven't swayed you, just tell them but also say that they made good points to think about as well. They'll most likely appreciate it and see the maturity you have in handling yourself. Other then that, if there seems to be no end or rising tensions just call it off! say that you'll continue this another time or that each side is understandable and you should both leave it at that; agree to disagree. Everyone walks away happy and can move on with no hard feelings :)
If you follow these guidelines(if you don't already) I'm sure you'll see a difference in yourself, the other person, and will be surprised every step of the way. Give it a try, you might find it makes the arguement a whole lot more than just winning and losing. :)
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