I have experience with arguements(what can I say, they don't make me angry at all, they give me a rush). A mixture of experience and education has helped me become a successful arguer. There are a few techniques I use that usually help me win, and even if I know i'm wrong or i've lost, we both go away happy.
Don't lose your cool: Never start yelling, never swear, mock, or use sarcasm, don't use aggressive body language, even if they do.
Why it's bad: If you do this then you will be just as bad as them and they'll be able to read you. If your yelling and flailing your arms around they'll know your emotional and that you aren't thinking clearly. If you start swearing and name calling they'll know your in the defensive and again, not thinking clearly about what's coming out of their mouth because they're backed up into a corner.
Why this is good for you: If you don't do these things than you can actually have a decent and intellectual arguement based on what you have to say and not who intimidates who the most. You'll have your dignity even if they did not and will come off as stronger from the get-go. It might make them more angry, which may be what you want(because as stated, anger shows that you've won), or they will appreciate it and reciprocate.
Understand and Acknowledge: Of course they will have an opposing opinion to yours but ensure that you acknowledge what they have to say and understand it before you continue, or even expand on it.
Why it's bad not to: It may get back at you later because you may say something they already argued which will make them angry and show you don't know what's going on(weakness). You'll be/seem ignorant which will make you (seem)unintelligent and rude. It will show you don't know anything but your own side.
Why it's good for you: Anyone who loses will know it was fair and might even learn something that will expand on what they know and force them to think more of what they already do. Therefore you'll get more out of the arguement than just proving your side and with your head held high.
Think before you speak: Make sure it's relevant, make sure it is justified, be sure you'll make sense
Why it's bad not to: Some people won't catch if something is irrelevant but most will and will call you out on it. That would show that you don't have a legitamite arguement. Make sure it's justified and strong and your not just talking to hear yourself talk. Ensure that what you say will make sense and is understandable, oneof the worst things to happen in a consistant arguement is a "Huh? I don't get it."
Why it's good for you: It'll be harder for them to think of something as good or batter than what you had said. It'll keep everything flowing while makig you look good and strong.
Positive Speech and Body Language: Keep your facial features calm or friendly, never tense or haughty. Ensure that your body is also calm but still exudes confidence. Keep your tone of voice controlled and at a good pitch(not to high and not too low).
Why it's bad not to: Tense facial features can show agression and haughty ones can easily offend them making them very angry because it seems as if you do not take them seriously and feel superior to them. Raising your voice will drown them out and again show aggression. A pitch too high will give the impression that your immature and unintelligent, a pitch too low can make you seem uninterested or boring, try to find the middle pitch for yourself.(say mm hmm as you would spontaneously, then do it holding the hm, then transition from the hm to a sentence: mm hmmm how are you?)
Why it's good for you: This will keep both parties calm and show that you are ready to go into the conversation. They won't feel attacked and you won't seem as if your overreacting. You will sound intelligent and logical.
Finally and most importantly, be sure of yourself and be prepared: I always try to go into an arguement already knowing where I stand and that I have sufficiant proof to back myself up. Also, think ahead to what the other person might say.
Why it's bad not to: You won't seem confident and will run out of things to say quickly. It will seem as if you don't know very much. you will give the other person many opportunities to overthrow you.
Why it's good for you: You will be able to provide many reasons thah will be hard to counter, it helps if you are passionate about what you are speaking of and have thought about it befort. If you know what they will can respond quickly and effectively, or even better, you can beat them too it. For example "Now I know you think it's good because ____, but on the other hand..."
In the end: If you know they have you then it's best just to admit or even if they haven't swayed you still just tell them that but that they also made good points to think about. They'll most likely appreciate it and see the maturity you have in handling yourself while being able to admit you may not have won. Other than that if there seems to be no end or rising tensions just call it off! say that you'll continue this another time or that each side is understandable and you shuold both leave it at that. Everyone walks away happy and can move on with no hard feelings :)
If you follow these guidelines(if you don't already) I'm sure you'll see a difference in yourself, the other person, and will be surprised every step of the way. Give it a try, you might find it makes the arguement a whole lot more than just winning and losing. :)
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